Friday, March 6, 2009
8:57:00 PM
Life after death wasnt all easy
I tried to stay in the house most of the time as it was the only place I was more familiar with. The house, was very quiet after I left. Mostly the sound of grief which I tried to ignore. But if a cold heart would ache, mine will. Everything's still in place - my table, books, clothes.. My bed. I always lingered there, the place where I begin when I ended. I saw that my laptop's still there. Such a waste, haven used it for long yet. If they'r dreaming about me again, perhaps I should ask them to burn it for me, instead of wasting on those fake smiles I tried to console them with.
Sometimes I would wander around and I made a few friends. They taught me alot, and I understood why not many like to come out in the sun. Because no matter how strong the sun was, there's no warmth. It simply went through. Constantly reminding us of what we were - nothing.
And I realised would never sleep again, even though I feel sleepy all the time. Just like moments before my heart stopped. Since they always left me to sleep, they didnt realised till it was way too late. Death was a strange experience, really. One moment I was staring into bright lights as though I was dreaming; the other I was sitting up, looking at myself. Feeling, very light. very lost. I wonder when can I.. move on.
